2010年12月4日星期六

最後的話

我輸了
徹底的輸了
不是輸給其他女生
而是輸給了我最愛的那個他
一直以為他不會放棄我
原來那只是我自己的想法
事實是他對我的愛並沒有我想像的那麼深
我們的愛根本經不起考驗,受到挫折就結束了
當我問他是不是要分,他說要分,那是不是代表他已經放棄了?
其實我已經很清楚答案了,只是我還在逃避
我根本無法面對事實,我在害怕,我在不捨
你不可以怪我,因為是你先闖進我的生活
你得負責的不是嗎?你有責任保護好我的不是嗎?
你不應該讓我哭讓我受傷的不是嗎?
是你先打擾我的生活,是你先進入我的世界的
你怎麼可以說走就走呢? 你怎麼可以說不要就不要呢?
是你先改變我的習慣的,是你先讓我投入的
爲什麽你能那麼忍心? 爲什麽你可以那麼殘忍?
讓這段戀情開始的是你,為甚麼讓這段戀情結束的也是你呢?
爲什麽你可以就只用 ''我不是故意的'' 這六個字來安慰我?
難道我就只值這六個字嗎?
如果是那樣,那爲什麽你要讓我從新愛上你?
之前,我已經不愛你了,也已經徹底放棄了
爲什麽你又要把我拉回去? 就是爲了報仇? 就是爲了讓我傷心痛苦?
如果是那樣,那你真的做到了
你贏了,徹徹底底的贏了所有
如果你覺得那樣可以讓你好過些,那就繼續吧
既然已經傷了,那再傷多幾次也不會怎樣了
我想告訴你的是,只要你覺得開心,我都能忍受
如果你覺得那些東西重要,那就去吧
如果你覺得我比不過那些,那你就去吧
這些是我最後想說的話
晚安

2010年12月3日星期五

♥ 最後一次

從寶貝梅那里收到一個令我覺得遺憾的消息
是什麽我就不想多提了,可是真的覺得有點可惜
但有些事情總該有個結果的,再拖也沒用
我希望以後的日子她會過得更開心吧
我也不想多說些什麽她的事情,因為我自己的搞不清楚我自己的事了
今天我想了好多好多,從來沒有那麼清楚想過他的一切
沒錯,我們曾經是很甜蜜過,也很愛對方過
但,如今已不同了,我已不再是最重要的那個,也不再是他的一切
從他的態度,他的行為,已讓我看清我在他心裡的地位
現在我唯一能做的,就只有一個人,好好過生活
我不該再依賴他,不該在期望什麽
媽咪說得對,不要讓自己辛苦,我還有很長的路要走
我從來沒跟媽咪訴苦過,這是第一次,也希望是最後一次
她希望她女兒是開心幸福的,而不是爲了一個男人哭得要生要死的
十八歲的小女人,不是應該得到甜蜜的純愛情嗎,爲什麽我的愛情那麼辛苦
我沒要求太多,我想得到的他絕對可以給我,也絕對可以做到
如果他是愛我的,什麽都可以盡全力去做的不是嗎
我好想問問他,我到底算什麽
解悶工具嗎? 陪伴玩具嗎? 還是拿來過日子的寵物而已?
怎麼我都感覺不到他的愛? 怎麼我都感覺不到那安全感啊?
我好想知道答案,據算知道會失望,我也想知道
就算你傷得再深,我也會覺得我遇到你是幸運的
因為曾經擁有你的溫柔,你的關心的你的回憶
我無法再多寫了,我真的累了
此刻,我只想好好大哭一場,因為哭過就好了
這是最後一次,以後都不為他哭了,我保證
眼淚是讓我清醒的武器,也是洗淨悲傷表情的工具
還是那句,對不起,我還是愛你



♥我們曾經是多么的恩愛,我們曾經是多么的登對

♥ 感覺

突然,頭腦一片空白,什麽都想不到
我怎麼又那樣了,以前的那個我怎麼又回來了
但這次總比上次好些了,至少沒有衝動到做傻事
我變堅强了,我長大了,是好事來的對吧?
可是怎麼我一點都不開心呢,怎麼我笑不出來呢
或許我還在猶豫吧,我根本搞不清楚我做的決定到底是對還是錯
但無可否認的,我還是愛他的,我的心還是會痛的
反復看了以前寫的每一篇POST,才發現,原來我們經歷了那麼多
有喜有怒有哀有樂,全部都經歷過
看回以前的甜蜜,就連現在都還能感覺到那味道呢
但那時也流了好多的淚,但每當流淚,他都會盡全力哄回,嚓干我的淚
同時,也想起了好多好多他給的承諾,曾經我是多么的信任他啊
他說過的每句話,我都一字不忘
他給過的回憶,都還清晰留在腦海裡
他送過的禮物,都完美的保留著
和他的合照,一張都不少的存在電腦里
電話里,全都是他的信息
來電清單,他的號碼從來不會沒見過
相刪里,收的都是和他的照片
腦袋裡,全都塞滿了他的一切
也許,我要放棄,我要忘記,是真的不可能的
他已經是我生活的全部,他已經進入了我的世界
少了他,我也就會像少了靈魂,這是事實
但更真實的是,我已經不是他的誰,他也不會再是我生活的所有了



♥ Sorry that I loved U

2010年12月2日星期四

=給他和寶貝們的話=

每一次 , 从你发给我的短信里
你对我说 ,
“老婆,我要去上課了…”
“老婆,我要和朋友出去玩…”
“老婆,我累了,先睡了哦…”
“老婆,我忙一下,等下找你啊…”
这些你忙而没有陪我的理由
总让我没有安全感和难受
但是我却不能怪你
你知道吗?
你不在的时候
我很茫然   *因为不知道要和谁聊心事
你不在的时候
我会胡思乱想   *想你是不是对我厌倦了
你不在的时候
我有多想拿起电话打给你   *想听你的声音
你不在的时候
没人能安抚我的情绪   *心情低落,需要你的安慰
你不在的时候
我的心里有多么寂寞   *只有你,我才不会感到寂寞
你不在的时候
想找你却又找不到   *我想你了你不在的时候
心里觉得我被你遗弃了   *因为你冷漠的态度
一旦我向你抱怨
你一定会不耐烦
甚至觉得我不可理喻
对我大声地说
“都和你说我在忙了!你怎么还不明白!”
“难道我喝个茶都不行吗?!”
“我累了!不想和你解释那么多!”
我不想那样
我不想和你有任何的误会
所以
就算我心里有多难受
我还是选择沉默
只 因 为 , 我爱你

今天也因為和他吵架而對我的寶貝們發脾氣了
突然就對她們凶了
真的很對不起寶貝們
不是因為你們做錯事,是因為我和他吵架了
所以才會那麼兇的
寶貝軒保證不會有下次了哦
而且我也和他說得很清楚了,或許以後再也沒機會吵架了吧
對不起,寶貝梅和寶貝嘉
今天真的不想多寫了,心情超差的
既然他已經覺得我煩了,那我也該放手了,就讓他去找他那對的人吧
希望他可以過得很好吧,我也不會再煩他了
只想對他說,你永遠都是我心裡最好的那個男人

2010年12月1日星期三

say BYE to NOV,say HI to DEC

我又回來了
現在本小姐想跟十一月說聲再見,再跟十二月說聲嗨
可是我真的好捨不得我的十一月呢,好想把那時間停留,繼續我的蜜月哦
告訴你們哦,我2010的十一月可是精彩得很呢,因為有他每分每秒陪著我過哦
真的好謝謝他呢,如果沒有他,可能我就悶死了吧
但遺憾的是,我開學了
又得離開他了,又得回到一個人獨自生活了
一個人的生活真的很不好過,想牽牽他的手抱抱他的腰捏捏他的臉都不行了
現在好想告訴他我是多么的需要他,多么的想他啊
但我知道我告訴他再多次也沒用,他還是不會來到我身邊
有時真的好羡慕那些幸福女友,說聲我想見你,就可以見到她的他
我記得,有個朋友告訴我,他女朋友在KL說想見他,他就真的利用週末的兩天時間去陪她,從吉打踏巴士去KL,然後再趕回來
突然覺得他真的好偉大,他真的好為她,她真幸福呢
有時,我已經儘量不要求什麼,并儘量滿足我所擁有的,因為我已經擁有一個很好的他
但往往還是會埋怨,怎麼我的他永遠都是離我那麼遠啊,怎麼我總是沒機會陪在他身邊啊
我好想每天陪著他,每天看著他,對他說心裡話,讓他幫我按摩,讓他抱著,讓他好好看著我的眼睛啊
我期待三月,那時我就真的可以待在他身邊三個月了,因為我有長假呢
那時我就可以每天弄好吃的東西給他吃,每天陪著他過日子,不讓他一個人了
我能做的就只有那樣吧,就是把我全部的時間留給他,能陪他多久就陪多久,再遠也值得
好了,不說這個了,轉個話題吧
我好愛今年的十一月呢,因為真的過得很有意義
終於和他去了GENTING,我想和他去好久了呢,如今終於都實現了
真的好開心,因為拍了好多好多的照片,感覺好甜蜜,POST給大家看看吧

我超愛這兩張的
HAPPY FAMILY
                                            


AT TAO  

AT GENTING

CRAZY COUPLE *wakakaka,i like this

我也想在此宣佈,今天是第一天會學院報告哦
以全新的風格回去,雖然不怎麼特別,但總算有點改變吧
讓你們瞧瞧吧


  
好了,突然覺得好困哦,想睡覺了
晚安哦,大家


[雖然我沒能做到最好,但我會儘量把自己做好]

2010年11月26日星期五

stay sweet with him

I'll do what i had promise you just now.
Even you're right here by my side now,but i feel u're so far away from me.
I scare that you'll leave me and go to a far far place again,but i know u won't,i trust u.
What i wanna tell you now is I really love U,and i'll put on all my love to you.
Dun be so scare that i'll leave u again.And i won't make the same mistake again.
U're MINE,and I'm YOURS oso.

Finally we watch the HARRY POTTER at SUMMIT today.
I think that movie is quite interesting,nt worse than the previous episod.
And i enjoy so much the sweet moment with him.
I appreciate it and i'll remember it forever.
I like the feeling when you hug me,kiss me.
I like the moment when you hold my hand and walk around every places. 

me and hubby
=like this photo so much=
=our Lomo style=

2010年11月24日星期三

[Totally bankrup]

Hey guys,i'm coming back again.
Coming back with a new-style-me,totally-different-me.
Feel excited to see my new style,right?
=Dunwan let u all see,wakakaka.Juz kidding=
I think i'll post the photo when i'm free.
I'd visit to many places in this few days.It's really fun,totally enjoyed it.
MidValley,Sg.Wang,TimeSquare,SunwayPyramid,Putrajaya and such unfamous place.
Stay at Putrajaya for two night.Quite fun at there.
I like the view at there.Especially the Night View.It's so amazing.
And i'd a bad new wanna announce here.I'm totally bankrup d.
Cannot shopping anymore.
=Oh...it's so bad to me.=
But i admit that i had buy so much already.
Spent about RM600 on my poly shirt oni.
Hope that it's worth for it.Coz i wanna back to poly with a new-style me,no more colar-T with slack-pants.
I'd also buy many new blouse for my new-year-wear.All is choosen by my hubby.
And i like them so much.Of cause i help him choose his shirt.
I help him cut cost.Spent only RM200 for six shirt and two pairs of shoes.
=It's Cheap,right? can't amazing that how pandai is me. +.+ wink=
He has to appreciate that he had a clever wife.
But i admit that i'm not a perfectwife.I'd treat him so bad in this few days.
Sorry to him.I'll try my best to be his beloved wife.
Love you,hubby.

2010年11月19日星期五

To my cute babe man and my shopping day

Suddenly feel that my babe man is so cute
He make me fall 4 him again
I wanna telling the whole world that My super duper good good man is coming back!
Now he's the one who can stay in my heart deeply,and no more other guy
=I wanna tell him now=
I love him
I need him
so so much
He's the one who always stay by my side and won't leave me
No others ppl can make this promse to me,except him
He's the one who always give me effort when i'm facing troubles or problems
No others ppl can stop my tears,except him
He's the one who say want me behis beloved wife and will take care of me for my whole-life-time
No others ppl can giv me such promise,except him
He'sthe one who always letme bully and won't scold me back
No others ppl got such good temple,except him
Dat's why i'm love him so much and i know that he will make up all his promises
Babe man,i promise u,i'll not hurt u again
i'll not make the same mistake again
il be ur good good laopo and won't always pretent bad temple to u
But i still will eat vinegar always,haha
=Coz i like taste sour,wakakakaka=
Don't make me wanna leave u again
Control your playfull-style and stop playing with the thing that i hate the most
REMEMBER this!

Start my shopping plan today
My first destination:Sunway Pyramid
i'd spent about RM250 at there
and i'd just buy 2 blouse from VOIR and 2 short pants from PADINI
i like them so much
i think i'll go TIMESQUARE and SG.WANG tomoro
sure will spent more than today
=wakakaka,devilsmile again=
always buy the flowerly blouse and skirt recently
socham,my babe man say look so old
haha,but i like it
so he doing nothing with me
He like my lady-look,coz it's SEXY and look MATURE
i'll always be lady-look,because my babe man like it so much
But it's also my own-style,always looks like lady although my attitude is so rude
=wakakakaka,paisenia=

2010年11月18日星期四

short UPDATE

Sorry , i'd been abandoned here for so long time just bcoz of few private reasons. *shhh...secret
NOW i wanna tell you guys that , Yiko KL so much
you're Right!i'm stay-ing at KL now. jus like i'd told u guy b4.
Unfortunately,i'm still not yet start my shopping plan.Coz i'm too tired wif the 8hours journey.
This time was the most longest time that i had spent to arrive KL.Juz bcoz of the traffic jam.
=Dunno what reason that make-ing the traffic bcome so JAM=
But i don't mind d,coz i'm SAFELY arrive KL d.
Planning to go SUNWAY PYRAMID or MID-VALLEY on tomoro.
Wanna start my BRANDED shopping plan 1st.  *wakakaka
Wait for my babe man cum oni i'll start my UN-BRANDED shopping plan
coz i noe i'll buy so much n want him to help me take all my things  *devilsmile=)

and NOW i wanna complaint sumthing at here
HE had eat 5 of my lovely cupcakes!!!
n just leave 1 for me.  *ARGH!!!angry ah!!!! 
He owe me 48 CUPCAKES now,n he promise he will buy for me when he come here.
Gonna go FULLHOUSE this time. *i super duper ♥ dat place
the place is so kawaii , n it's decorated wif PINK colour.WOOHOO,my lovely colour

I wanna hav a snap now
Goodnight
Bye


=♥ my baobei man so much , miss HIM=

2010年11月14日星期日

[random]

woHOO,my guy is coming bec today.
Going to spent my holiday wif HIM,my super duper lovely guy *wink
He's trying to make most of his TIME for me,but unfortunately he CAN'T.coz he hav to go for a trip wif his family n it was same time wif me.
But nvm la=( He'll accompany me after the trip.I know he wont make me disappointed de ^ ^
He had buy 6 lovely CUPCAKE for me but he eat 4 of it. OMG!!! my cupcake is GONE.he gonna buy it again for me.HNG!!I HATE U!!!
And he promise me he wanna do his own-make cupcake for me. *super devilsmile
planning to hav our 1st dinner today.HOPE he really can make it.
N planning to hav our dinner at AUTO-CITY de TAO tomoro *excited=)
I'll going to KL at TUESDAY's night.Gonna start my shopping plan at wednesday,hahahaha
Cant wait for it.Although it's gonna spent many many money,but i think it's worth for me.
Coz i'm really NEED it!!!!!

stop for TODAY.
OUT-ing now.
Gonna update here soon. and BYE.